


Aqours group chat shenanigans

by ChiakiNanamemes



Category: Love Live! School Idol Festival (Video Game), Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: 2nd year squad, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Dia gets triggered, Dia is a little savage Jfc, Dia is on a murder rampage, F/F, Group chat, Group chat calls, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humour, I might make one of these for the other girls yet but idk--, It's not joke--, Lots of ship hinting tbh, Mari causes lots of drama tbh, Memes, Multi, Name Calling, Nicknames, Other, Phone Calls, Pure Crack, This fic focuses on Mari too much I s2g, You and Mari are the meme team, and Chika regrets making the chat, chat fic, its savage in places, possible mention of canon events, she needs a perma bad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 13:23:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10617783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChiakiNanamemes/pseuds/ChiakiNanamemes
Summary: "I regret everything." - Chika Takami, probably.~~~DiaKurosawa: I hate you all why did I every agree to join this club?Orca: I ask that question a lot too.ShinyMari: but diaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! we all love you!!!!MikanChika: We do?RikoRikoRii: Since when?{A short collections of chat logs from the Aqours group chat! There's no update schedule or anything like that as it's just for fun!}





	1. The downfall of Aqours

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy! I try to make these as funny as I possibly can ^-^

MikanChika added RikoRikoRii, Yousoro!, DiaKurosawa, YOHANE THE FALLEN ANGEL, ShinyMari, Ruby<3, Zuramaru and Orca to the chat.  
MikanChika renamed the chat Aqours~!

MikanChika: Heeeey~! I made this chat so we can talk about things for Aqours!!  
DiaKurosawa: Hm. I'd never expect you to come up with a decent idea for once. Good job  
MikanChika: Thank you..?  
DiaKurosawa: You're welcome.  
RikoRikoRii: Why are you two texting each other? You're literally sitting across from each other.  
MikanChika: @ShinyMari @Yousoro! Where you at?? We're starting soon!!  
Yousoro!: I'll be there soon  
ShinyMari: its joke  
DiaKurosawa: Mari. No.  
ShinyMari: mari yes!!! :D :D  
DiaKurosawa: So you can capitalise for an emoticon, but not for actual speech? Real mature.  
ShinyMari: its joke  
DiaKurosawa: Kanan. Please make her stop before I do.  
Orca: Why can't you do it yourself..?  
DiaKurosawa: Because she's your responsibility, and if I do it I can't guarantee she'll still be breathing afterwards.  
ShinyMari: :o  
ShinyMari: its joke tho  
DiaKurosawa: Be right back.  
Orca: Oh no...  
Orca: @ShinyMari If I were you, I'd lock yourself in your office. Like, now. Dia just stormed out and she looks mad.  
ShinyMari: im not in my office tho  
Orca: What? Where are you then?  
ShinyMari: under the table lmao  
MikanChika: ...Why are you under the table?  
ShinyMari: for the banta  
RikoRikoRii: *Banter.  
Orca: @ShinyMari Are you trying to look up our skirts again?  
ShinyMari: kanan  
Orca: Yes?  
ShinyMari: i would never do that that is my least favourite thing to do  
Orca: But you did it to me just this morning.  
ShinyMari: its joke  
Yousoro!: What the fuck did I miss why did Dia just walk past looking like she was gonna kill someone  
RikoRikoRii: @Yousoro! Read up.  
Yousoro!: K  
Yousoro!: Oh my god is that what she's mad about  
Yousoro!: xD  
ShinyMari: atleast someone gets the joke  
DiaKurosawa: I know where you are now.  
ShinyMari: :o  
Orca: You have no one to blame but yourself tbh  
Orca: You shoulda just told us in person  
ShinyMari: Pls come to my funeral thnxs  
Ruby<3: Onee-chan, Why is there going to be a funeral?  
ShinMari: @Ruby<3 bcus she's gonna kill me lol rip  
Ruby<3: Onee-chan!! You can't do that!!! Murder isn't legal!!  
YOHANE THE FALLEN ANGEL: I HEARD MURDER  
RikoRikoRii: Technically, Yocchan, you read it.  
YOHANE THE FALLEN ANGEL: QUIET LILY! DO NOT CORRECT THE FALLEN ANGEL THAT IS YOHANE!  
RikoRikoRii: Stop smiling like that, it's disturbing  
ShinyMari: lmao  
DiaKurosawa: Why is the door locked.  
ShinyMari: its joke  
DiaKurosawa: Mari.  
ShinyMari: dia ^-^  
DiaKurosawa: Did you lock the door?  
ShinyMari: what? me? no? never?  
ShinyMari: it was @Zuramaru  
DiaKurosawa: Then she is also on the death list.  
ShinyMari: theres a list?  
Ruby<3: Onee-chan!!! You made her cry!! Murder still isn't legal!!  
MikanChika: This chat is a mess. I regret everything.  
ShinyMari: same tbh  
Yousoro!: Its just a bit of banta  
RikoRikoRii: *Banter.  
ShinyMari: me && @Yousoro! are the meme team tbh  
Yousoro!: Legit though  
Orca: Can't we all just speak like normal people? And can someone let @DiaKurosawa in? I would, but I can't get up.  
ShinyMari: o no  
Orca: Get off my feet.  
ShinyMari: but kanannnnnnnnnnnnn! theyre so comfy!  
Orca: Fine.  
Zuramaru: HoW DOes Thiiss Workk///  
ShinyMari: :o :o :o  
ShinyMari: zuramaru sent a text!!!! what a time to be alive!!!  
DiaKurosawa: Enjoy your life while it lasts, because when I get in there I am going to drop kick you into next year.#  
Yousoro!: Savage  
DiaKurosawa: I hate you all why did I every agree to join this club?  
Orca: I ask that question a lot too.  
ShinyMari: but diaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! we all love you!!!!  
MikanChika: We do?  
RikoRikoRii: Since when?  
YOHANE THE FALLEN ANGEL: THIS IS THE FIRST I AM HEARING OF THIS LOVE FOR HER!!!  
Yousoro!: Rip you guys you will be missed  
Yousoro!: Oh shit you guys you made her cry  
MikanChika: Crap  
RikoRikoRii: We didn't mean it!  
YOHANE THE FALLEN ANGEL: IT WAS WHAT @ShinyMari WOULD CALL A JOKE!!  
MikanChika: We all totally love @DiaKurosawa ! Right @RikoRikoRii & @YOHANETHEFALLENANGEL  
RikoRikoRii: Yeah, we do!  
YOHANE THE FALLEN ANGEL: I MUST AGREE!!!  
Yousoro!: She said prove it by letting her in  
MikanChika: ... @everyone Who do you love more Mari or Dia?  
Orca: Why is that relevent?  
MikanChika: Well, if I let Dia in then Mari is surly doomed but if I leave her outside then she might never come back!!  
YOHANE THE FALLEN ANGEL: SHE ALSO SAID SHE WOULD KILL ZURAMARU!! WE CAN'T LET HER KILL TWO PEOPLE!!  
Yoursoro!: Are you guys forgetting that Iim also trapped out here?  
RikoRikoRii: Of course not @Yousoro! ! We could never forget about you!  
ShinyMari: gay  
RikoRikoRii: That's not gay! Shut up @ShinyMari  
ShinyMari: make me ;)  
RikoRikoRii: No.  
ShinyMari: ok fair enough  
MikanChika: Anywayyyy...So now its more of a question of do we want Dia & You or Mari & Hanamaru?  
Orca: If we leave them outside, we can't be arrested for assistant murder  
Ruby<3: Kanan has a point!!  
DiaKurosawa: My own sister...I am disgusted.  
Ruby<3: I'm sorry onee-chan!!! Please forgive me!!!  
DiaKurosawa: Let me in and I'll think about it.  
RubyKurosawa: Okki doki!!  
ShinyMari: let us all take a moment of silent to remember our fallen friend ruby who was taken out by our lord and saviour @YOHANETHEFALLENANGEL in an attempt to save her gal pal @Zuramaru may she rest in peace  
Yousoro!: She said shes gonna break down the door  
MikanChika: I'm not paying for the damage to the door btw  
RikoRikoRii: Same.  
Orca: Same.  
ShinyMari: ill do it!!!  
DiaKurosawa: Thanks for the confirmation of that, Mari.

And with that, Dia kicked the door in and broke it. She then proceeded to senselessly beat Mari and Yoshiko, but spared Hanamaru's life. Ruby was unharmed in the end, but was scared for life. Chika has never regretted anything more in her life.


	2. God Dammit, Mari.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More shenanigans {Read Note at the top!}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I literally rewrote this whole thing just to let everyone here know that this work has been copied by someone else. The first chapter of this was basically copied, not completely, but some of the ideas and dialogue from the first chapter were taken and used in another story. I'm not happy about this, and the 'writer' has yet to respond to me. A link to the fic is here: http://my.w.tt/UiNb/szALKC9wvC so take a look if you want..
> 
> With that being said, please enjoy the rest of the mess that is the Aqour's group chat!
> 
> EDIT: So the person removed their story, so yay for that!

ShinyMari: kanan

ShinyMari: i want to do everything to you

ShinyMari: i want your whole hand inside me kanan

ShinyMari: your whole arm

ShinyMari: fuck me till i cant stop screaming your name

ShinyMari: please? ^-^

MikanChika: Uhhhhh...This is the group chat...

RikoRikoRii: Oh my goodness...

Ruby<3: Onee-chan? What's a 'fuck'?

DiaKurosawa: Not a word. Any of you.

DiaKurosawa: Mari. I am going to kill you, and so will Kanan most likely when she sees this.

YOHANE THE FALLEN ANGEL: KILLING??? MY LITTLE DEMONS CAN'T BE KILLING EACHOTHER!!!

Orca: When I see what?

Yousoro!: XD xD xD scroll up!

Orca: @ShinyMari You didn't have to ask, you know. ;)

ShinyMari: that went better than expected

DiaKurosawa: Get out. Both of you

ShinyMari: k

ShinyMari: its joke tho

ShinyMari: anyone wanna join us

DiaKurosawa: For what?

ShinyMari: for sex

DiaKurosawa: No.

MikanChika: No thanks..?

RikoRikoRii: I'll pass.

YOHANE THE FALLEN ANGEL: NO THANK YOU!

Ruby<3: I dunno what that is...but sure?

DiaKurosawa: You won't be joining them

Ruby<3: Awww... :c

Ruby<3: If you say so...

Yousoro!: I'll join ;)

ShinyMari: nice

Orca: Sweet

DiaKurosawa: I'm going to get you all removed from the chat.

DiaKurosawa: @MikanChika I demand you remove them.

MikanChika: Idk that seems like a lot of work for just one mod...

RikoRikoRii: Then mod @DiaKurosawa ?

MikanChika: Nah, I'll pass

DiaKurosawa: Just get on with it, other wise I will come over there and fuck you up.

MikanChika: Is that supposed to be a threat or an offer? ;3

ShinyMari: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH SNAAAPPPPPPPPP!

Orca: She's gone all red~

DiaKurosawa: I have not! Ignore her!

Ruby<3: What's a fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm opening up requests for this, so if you have any feel free to suggest them!


	3. 1v1 me...or is it 1v2?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mari finds out that Dia and Kanan were talking about her behind her back. Instead of messaging them privately, she takes it to the groupchat. Shenanigans ensure.

ShinyMari: @Orca @DiaKurosawa so you guys been sayin stuff behind my back???? 1v1 me mate

RikoRikoRii: ...Wouldn't it be 1v2 though?

Yousoro!: I was thinking the same thing

ShinyMari: stfu you gays im not speaking to you

ShinyMari: @Orca @DiaKurosawa show urselfs 

RikoRikoRii: *Yourselves

ShinyMari removed RikoRikoRii from the chat.

Yousoro!: Eh????

ShinyMari: lmao chika modded me 

Yousoro!: @MikanChika Why her of all people 

MikanChika: I panicked.

ShinyMari: anyway

ShinyMari: @Orca @DiaKurosawa im mad w/ you guys

Orca: ...Why? What have we done?

ShinyMari: well its more dia than you kanan but you didnt tell me so im mad anyway

ShinyMari: i had to find out from ruby lol

Orca: Tell you what?

ShinyMari: that dia told you that i spread shit like i spread my legs

Orca: Oh. That.

Yousoro!: Well she's not wrong

ShinyMari removed Yousoro! from the group.

MikanChika: Savage

Orca: I didn't tell you because I didn't want to hurt your feelings. Plus, I didn't agree with her.

DiaKurosawa: That's bullshit and you know it. You agreed with me.

MikanChika: :o

ShinyMari: 1v1 me dia

ShinyMari: ill spread my legs right round your neck and strangle you

MikanChika: :O

MikanChika: Savage

DiaKurosawa: I'd like to see you try.

MikanChika: Is it okay if I send screenshots to Riko and You???

Orca: Go for it. 

MikanChika: K

ShinyMari: o hell no you did not just say that

DiaKurosawa: Say what? 

ShinyMari: that you??? Would like to see me??? Try???

ShinyMari: i dont try

ShinyMari: i do

DiaKurosawa: I do too.

MikanChika: Did they just get married or???

ShinyMari removed MikanChika from the group.

Orca: What was the need. 

ShinyMari: its joke

Orca: ...

ShinyMari: anyway 

ShinyMari: who tf do you think you are using my words

DiaKurosawa: Dia Kurosawa it says it right there you illiterate fuck.

ShinyMari: oh wow

Orca: Chika said 'Savage.'

Ruby<3: Onee-chan, what's going on? 

DiaKurosawa: Nothing, Ruby. Just a disagreement is all. 

ShinyMari: did you know ruby is the one who snitched on you

DiaKurosawa: ...Ruby. Is this true?

Ruby<3: I was only asking her what you meant!!! Please forgive me, onee-chan!!!

DiaKurosawa: ...Fine.

ShinyMari removed Ruby<3 from the group. 

DiaKurosawa: What was the point in that?

ShinyMari: cus it might get too savage for her

DiaKurosawa: With you in this chat, I doubt it.

Orca: I can't even. 

ShinyMari: YOU COME INTO THIS CHAT AND DARE TO INSULT ME??? A KNOWN MEME LORD?? THE FUCKITY???

DiaKurosawa: Oh please. Your memes are as out dated as your sense of humour. 

Orca: I'm fucking crying I can't

ShinyMari: o hell no

ShinyMari: this aint over, Kurosawa

DiaKurosawa: Wow. This is a historical event. Can we all take into account that Mari, Mari OHARA, used a capital letter...for someone's name. I know, what a time to be alive.

ShinyMari left the chat.

Orca: Savage.

DiaKurosawa: It's joke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> The Yoshimaru's are not featured as they were too busy being gay af


	4. Mari can work hard if she wants to.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mari attempts to get herself back into the chat.

ShinyMari added RikoRikoRii, Yousoro! And MikanChika to a chat. 

ShinyMari renamed the chat 'help me'.

ShinyMari: you guys 

RikoRikorRii left the chat.

ShinyMari: help me

Yousoro! left the chat.

ShinyMari: please

MikanChika: ...

ShinyMari: pls chika you are my only hope of getting revenge on dia 

MikanChika left the chat.

ShinyMari: gdi 

~~  
Sqqquuuuaaadddd~!

MikanChika: Idk I feel bad for not helping her

RikoRikoRii: It's her own fault she isn't in the chat. She's the one who left. We should be thankful that we were able to get back in without any fuss.

MikanChika: I guess idk

Yousoro!: Do you think she's annoyed w/ us

MikanChika: Probs

RikoRikoRii: Well, she isn't our problem. We didn't make the rule, Dia did. If she has a problem, she can take it up with her. 

MikanChika: Yeah you're right 

MikanChika: Changing topic but does anybody have the answers for the math HW?

RikoRikoRii: Yes, I do.

Yousoro!: Same

MikanChika: Let me copy??

RikoRikoRii: No.

Yousoro!: Nah

MikanChika: You guys aren't very nice :c

~~  
Private message between MikanChika and ShinyMari.

MikanChika: Mari

ShinyMari: chika 

MikanChika: I'm willing to help you get back into the chat

MikanChika: If you do one thing for me

ShinyMari: and that is???

MikanChika sent one file labelled 'Math hw'

MikanChika: Give me the answers for this, and I'll get you back in. Deal?

ShinyMari: sure thing its a deal

MikanChika: Pleasure doing business with you!

~~  
Private chat between ShinyMari and Orca.

ShinyMari: hey kanan 

Orca: The answer is no.

ShinyMari: i didnt even ask yet 

Orca: Whatever you're going to ask, the answer is no.

ShinyMari: but i need help with mathhhssss

ShinyMari: i have forgiven uuuu!!

Orca: ...What kind of maths?

ShinyMari sent one file labelled 'Math HW'.

Orca: Oh wow. That's pretty easy maths. I'm sure you can do it by yourself.

ShinyMari: but i cant 

ShinyMari: pls help me and ill leave you alone

Orca: No. 

ShinyMari: fine be that way

ShinyMari: @Orca

ShinyMari: @Orca

ShinyMari: @Orca

ShinyMari: @Orca

Orca: Stop.

ShinyMari: @Orca

ShinyMari: @Orca

ShinyMari: @Orca

ShinyMari: @Orca

Orca: Mari.

ShinyMari: @Orca

ShinyMari: @Orca

ShinyMari: @Orca

Orca: Okay, fine! I'll do the stupid work. Are you happy now?

ShinyMari: @Orca yup ^-^ just send me the answers when ur done!!!

Orca: Yeah, yeah. I will. Jeez you're lucky I love you...

ShinyMari: awww i love you too kanan!

~~  
Private conversation between ShinyMari and MikanChika.

MikanChika: Are you done yet???

ShinyMari: shhh dear chika

ShinyMari: skills take time

ShinyMari: my brain needs time to figure this stuff out okay

ShinyMari: im smart but not math smart

ShinyMari: just give me tim 

MikanChika: Tim?

~~  
Sqqquuuuaaadddd~!

MikanChika: Does anybody know who Tim is?

RikoRikoRii: No..?

Yousoro!: My dad knew a guy called Tim once 

MikanChika: And?

Yousoro: He died

MikanChika: O h

~~  
Private message between MikanChika and ShinyMari.

ShinyMari: oops i mean time 

ShinyMari: lol who tf is tim

MikanChika: ...Just get it done

~~  
Private message between Orca and ShinyMari.

ShinyMari: kanan 

Orca: Yea?

ShinyMari: is it done?

Orca: Almost. 

ShinyMari: ok do you need motivation 

Orca: Sure, why not.

ShinyMari: ok

ShinyMari: JUST DO IT! DON'T LET YOUR MEMES JUST BE DREAMS!! JUST DO!!! ITTT!!!!

ShinyMari: well?

Orca: I thought you were gonna send nudes, but that works fine.

ShinyMari: ;) get your head out of the gutter 

Orca sent a file labelled 'Math HW Answers'.

Orca: You're welcome.

ShinyMari: thanks kanan!! i owe you

Orca: Yeah, you really do.

~~  
Private chat between MikanChika and ShinyMari.

ShinyMari sent a file labelled 'Math HW Answers'.

ShinyMari: add me back pls 

MikanChika: Aww yeah!! Thanks Mari, you're a lifesaver!

ShinyMari: dont mention it. ever. to anyone. pls

~~  
Aqour's group chat

MikanChika added ShinyMari.

ShinyMari: you will not believe what i went through to get back here

DiaKurosawa removed ShinyMari from the chat.

~~

Some say, that if you listen closely, you can still hear Mari screaming in frustration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Requests are still open for this btw!!


	5. Unfollowed, Deleted, Blocked.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again, Mari is a little shit and Dia has had enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really like how this chapter turned out, but whatever. I hope you all enjoy!

Aqour's group chat

DiaKurosawa added ShinyMari to the chat.

DiaKurosawa: One wrong move from you, and I'll kick you out again.

ShinyMari: k

ShinyMari: @diakurosawa 

DiaKurosawa: What?

ShinyMari: U's

DiaKurosawa: Blocked. 

~~   
DiaKurosawa created a group chat. 

DiaKurosawa added MikanChika, RikoRikoRii, Yousoro!, YOHANETHEFALLENANGEL, Ruby<3, Zuramaru, and Orca to the chat.

DiaKurosawa: Everyone block Mari or so help me God I will end your existence.

MikanChika: Isn't that a little ott?

DiaKurosawa: Ott?

RikoRikoRii: Over the top.

DiaKurosawa: Oh. No, I don't think it's. After all, she insulted μ's.

Orca: It's possible she made a mistake..?

DiaKurosawa: Kanan. This is Mari we're talking about.

Yousoro!: She has a point. Mari probably did do it just to piss Dia off lmao

DiaKurosawa: Anyway, have you all blocked her?

MikanChika: Yeah

RikoRikoRii: Yes.

Yousoro!: Ye

Orca: I will.

YOHANETHEFALLENANGEL: SHOULD WE TELL HER THAT WE ARE BLOCKING HER?

DiaKurosawa: No.

YOHANETHEFALLENANGEL: OK

RikoRikoRii: Yocchan, please. Stop with the caps. 

YOHANETHEFALLENANGEL: NO I SHALL NOT.

Yousoro!: It doesnt even make you that edgy tbh

YOHANETHEFALLENANGEL: SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU INSOLENT FOOL!

Yousoro!: Make me ;)

DiaKurosawa: Please keep your flirting in private messaging. 

Yousoro!: k

DiaKurosawa: @Ruby<3 @Zuramaru have you blocked her?

Ruby<3: Of course!!!

Zuramaru: y ee s

DiaKurosawa: Good.

DiaKurosawa deleted the chat.

~~  
Aqour's group chat

ShinyMari: boy this chat is empty af where you all at

ShinyMari: hello

ShinyMari: @everyone 

ShinyMari: wtf

Zuramaru: hell o? 

ShinyMari: wtf why are you the only one responding i though u couldnt use a phone

Zuramaru: block

ShinyMari: ?????

Zuramaru: b l o c k

ShinyMari: ??????? the fuck???

~~  
Private message between ShinyMari and Orca.

ShinyMari: where tf are you something is wrong with maru i think shes possessed or smthin 

This person couldn't not receive your message at this time.

~~  
Aqour's group chat

ShinyMari: @Zuramaru did everyone bloc me????

Zuramaru: Ye s

ShihyMari: o wow

ShinyMari: y didnt u???

Zuramaru: don t know h ow

ShinyMari: o h 

~~~  
Now with Mari being Mari, she would not stand for this! She got straight on the phone with Dia, and their conversation went a little something like this;

"What do you want, Mari?"

"Why did you block me? It was so uncalled for!"

"You insulted μ's, get over yourself."

"Please! Give me one more chance! I'll make it up to you! I swear!"

"How?"

"I can buy you stuff!"

"I don't take bribes."

"...I'll buy you all the Eli merch you could ever dream of."

"...You have one more chance. We never speak of this again."

"Thank you, Dia~"

~~  
And thus, Mari was unblocked and everything went back to normal. Well...As normal as it gets with Aqour's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dia 'I don't take bribes' Kurosawa, am I right?
> 
> ~~~
> 
> For those of you who read any of my other works, I should be updating them soon!
> 
> With that being said, thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Suggestions are open!


End file.
